What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Why is our generation so unhappy?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What do you mean son?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

My wife always forces me to suck my bulls dick and balls and even Lick his cum from her face and tits and they even humiliate me very badly plus she always talks about big Dicks everywhere everytime and show me pics of huge cocks what should I do ?

What! how could you do that?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Why would Trump make conspiracy claims that Haitians are eating pets in Ohio?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

True - how I loved my mum!

Can you write a letter to your first love without mentioning his/her name?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Do you know what she said mum?

What's the most incredible coincidence that ever happened to you?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?